Okay! Okay! So, the title is a bit dramatic, but it got your attention didn't it!?! There IS a lesson in this. A couple of months ago, I was cleaning out and organizing my backpack. I took a look at the outside of it and thought, "This backpack is cluttered! And that's just the outside!" I had so many different things attached here and there, hanging everywhere, zipper pulls on all 50 thousand zippers (so maybe there are a few less than that), and just stuff...everywhere.
I remembered the last trip I took via airplane. Most of you know that I'm a bit vertically challenged, right? When I need to put my backpack in the overhead compartment, many times I need assistance because I can't quite reach to put up my backpack. Well, with all these things hanging from my backpack, the person assisting me has to make sure that all the dangling items get pushed inside the compartment so the door will shut and latch. Can we say "embarrassing"!?! I told myself I have GOT to do something about that!
Back to cleaning out and organizing my backpack... Seeing all of those things on the outside of my backpack and seeing how cluttered it looked made me wonder if my life reflected what my backpack looked like. Is my life cluttered? Is this an indication of what my life is like at the present? Am I cluttering my life with unimportant things? Are my relationships cluttered? Is my relationship with God cluttered? Are my WORDS cluttered? Am I cluttering my life with activity? What kind of persona am I putting forth? What am I trying to cover up with stuff? What I am using to detract from something else? What am I hiding? What am I running away from? What am I afraid of? What is deep inside that I won't let anyone see? How could they see it with all that stuff on the outside!?! So many questions were running through my mind.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines clutter as: "(verb) to run in disorder; to fill or cover with scattered or disordered things that impede movement or reduce effectiveness; (noun) a crowded or confuse mass or collection; things that clutter a place; interfering radar echoes caused by reflection from objects--as on the ground--other than the target; disturbance; hubbub." Clutter is practically an onomatopoeia. I need to un-clutter my life--my stuff, my activities, my relationships, my plans, my relationship with God, my prayers ... my everything.
What about you? Does anyone else out there feel the same way I do sometimes? It's confession time for me. I have noticed there are things I do that keep me from doing the other more important things. I tend to be drawn towards organizing when I am procrastinating about something or feeling stressed, etc. Organizing? Yes, seriously. I find pure joy, contentment and relaxation in organizing. Now, that's just got to be plain weird, right? But then I really got to thinking about what that might mean and how it relates to that whole clutter thing I've been talking about.
I'm not talking about having a psychological issue. For me, it goes much deeper than that; it's a spiritual issue. Organizing is not just something I do to keep me from doing something else or to keep from facing a deeper issue. It is relaxing to me. It's a natural thing for me to do. It's not a task; I don't have to concentrate on organizing. It's like I'm on autopilot. Organizing is a time where I can think. I can think about what's really going on inside my heart and mind and soul and talk to God. It's a time when I can de-clutter my life, my heart, my soul, my spirit. It's a time I can reflect on what God is doing in my life as well as what He has already done. I surely love this time with God. It does seem like a strange thing to do. I suppose it's a physical action of a metaphorical description of cleaning out my heart, ridding my life of unnecessary junk -- what I like to call "junk in my trunk". Uh, what did I just say?
Let me un-clutter that for you. I will not be buried alive. I am not a hoarder. I will not allow the junk in my trunk to weigh me down. I am not a slave to sin. Jesus has paid the price and set me free from my sin. He has set me free from the sin that clutters my life. He has released the chains of bondage and oppression. He saved me from certain death and gave me abundant life to live in victory. I. AM. FREE! This is a time for worship. This girl is learning to "travel lightly".
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